Wow, it’s finally happening! We’re on for our opening day, this Saturday, May 4! We nearly wet ourselves with excitement. We wouldn’t really admit it if we did!
Do us a giant favor and please read the entrance directions and follow the arrows to get in. Do not come in the old way as you will be waved off and embarrassed in front of your mother… well if not your mother, at least someone’s mom. Here is the map that shows the route in green, and the yellow is where we park the cars that attend. The arrows mean the direction you drive, in case you’re from Fresno.
We anticipate upwards of 600 cars of which only around 500 will get in some come early. Don’t show up late and throw a toy-isle tantrum in front of thousands of people if you don’t get in. Come early, get in line and just have fun. We will get you landed as fast as we can.
As for spectators, park in the north parking structure and walk on over. It’s easier to get in and out that way without much in the way of traffic. Don’t forget to buy something at the mall. How about some summer undies?
For those of you who arrive late and don’t get in, you snooze you cruise. Set the alarm, get there early. Go have breakfast and just kick back and talk to people. We’re going to see upwards of three thousand spectators, or more so it’s the place to be for sure. This is way better then sitting at home tweezing for that one pesky hair.
If you’re new, just leave it up to us when you arrive. We will get you settled in. Introduce yourself and we will do all we can to make you feel right at home. For those who like to test our rules opening day, FYI, there are plain clothes police, cameras everywhere, and a fresh set of handcuffs just waiting for you. That smokey burnout you ponder will have more evidence in court than OJ. Redmond has been hanging people for burnouts since the mid 1800s. Reckless driving will be an expensive ticket, not to mention that drop from your insurance, so just don’t do it. Be smart for once. Hide your narcissism for just one morning. It won’t kill you.
For the rest of you, welcome to our tenth anniversary!